And baby makes 5

I am happy to announce that our daughter Freya Jennings Weiss was welcomed to the world yesterday, through 26th at 8:08am.  She is 7lbs and 14oz. Perfect in everyday. Of course there was some adventure along the way but I will share with everyone when we get home.

So in love.

Gush

M's water broke, now off to try and get the contractions to start. Wish us luck!

The flu that binds us

So I am woefully behind on the non-challenge, we were hit hard this week by the flu. It took us all out. I was just reading the musing of the ladies of at Next in Line and I could not agree more. I miss the days of being able to be sick and not having to simultaneously take care of two other little people with the hopes of having your wife who is 37 weeks not get sick. Let's just say it has not been fun. at. all.

but moving forward.

We finished our birth class last night. It was a great gathering- we took a mindfulness class that not only takes about birth, but how to meet your moments. Both the good and the challenging that come for most of us during our birth process. I can not remember if I have talked about it before, but it is a great class. We had taken it before when I was carrying our duo, and it was great being able to sit in the other seat this time around. It was a wonderful conversation starter for us, and allowed us to really feel ready for the road ahead of us.

With the class ending, I have to say I am ready to move into the next phase of this journey. End the pregnancy part of this journey, and move into having this little lady here. It is hard to believe that she will be here...soon. Very soon I would say. There has been no indication that she is making an impending arrival, but it's hard to think that due date is only 2 weeks away.

I will catch up here shortly...

Surprise, surprise...

What surprises me about being a parent - like many of you it's hard to put into words, it's everything and it's nothing. I have been blown away with the primal need I have to care for my kids, to love them to provide for them. I would do anything for them...but I am not sure that is what surprised me.

One thought that came to me thinking about this question is how becoming a mother has provided me with a key to enter into a new club. I am not sure what it is like for men, but I have found that after becoming a mother, especially since giving birth, I was given access to a new club. Now when interacting with new people especially those that have kids or have families - we have a new level of connection, a conversation starter if nothing else. Working in a very female dominated field, I found having become a mother validated me on a professional level as well. Strange? I thought so as well.

I think the other aspect of motherhood that surprises me is how consuming it is. I knew it was a 24 hour a day job, but I had no idea how naked I would feel when my kids were not with me. Feeling like I needed to be wearing a sign around my neck so that the world knew I had this badge of honor. I am not sure why this aspect (and yes, it is only part) of my identity I want to wear so publicly. It's not like I feel the need to walk around screaming to the world - pay attention, I'm Jewish, I'm an environmentalist, I'm a lesbi@n...for some reason when I don't have my kids with me I feel like I am walking around with just one arm. I am not sure if it totally makes sense- but jut the essence of the feeling I guess.

Oh - and going back to guilty pleasures:

• People Mag - it's my motivation to get me to the gym most days. Being able to have my 30 minutes with my mag and the stair machine. Such trash...
• Making M get up in the morning with the kids, pretending to be asleep and enjoying some stolen time in bed to read.
  
• Ice cream...Ben n' Jerry's Phish food specifically, but any ice cream will do.
  
• sigh...there was more, but I forgot.
  

Maybe I should talk about that under what surprises me about parenting, my memory. It's a fraction of what it used to be. <> But all n' all - I wouldn't trade a moment of it.

Day 1 and 2

So I tried to post day 1 a number of times yesterday from my Droid...didn't want to work. sigh. So here we go.

Where I blog- I work from home most days - so this is what I get to see. I have dueling computers (one work, one personal) and you can see it is not too tidy. Just last year we re-did our office space so I am still loving the blue walls - so much better than the wood paneling that was there before.

Working from home it it's own unique challenge - we have someone that comes in house to take take of the kiddos' - and most days they understand that when the office door is shut that Mama T is working. Granted, the door is glass- they can see in. there are a number of times I turn around and see two little faces staring at me - makes me smile every time.

In terms of day 2 - my high school self. I was a self appointed girl sc0ut nerd. I never really loved high school - but I did run track, play in the band (xylophone yo!) but never really felt like I fit in much. but then I came out about 2 weeks post graduation, so that would probably explain it.

If you talked to most folks the thing they would remember about me in HS was my hair. While it was cutting edge at the time, oh boy do I catch flack for it now. While this picture is not me- it is what my hair looked like for the better part of the 90's. sigh...it's where my nick name Mushroom came from. Can you guess why?

tick, tick, tick...

Yes, that's the sound of time ticking by....quickly. The radio silence is only recently occurred as I am in the slight panic of "I could have a new baby arriving in the next 30 days and I better get my tush in gear and get ready" moment.

Lots of thoughts, lots of thoughts to share - will share more soon.

Female Transformation

There are many words out there for the body types, and stereotypes that are often used to describe the various fractions of the LGBTQ world. Butch, femme, queer, etc, etc, etc. I will be honest that in the past I had not paid a ton of attention, to me it felt like two women loving and living together. I never felt like my life was the Gay Agenda that the republicans were fighting against.

But with M being pregnant it's been strange. It seems that M's pregnancy has really challenged many. See, I guess you would say that in many ways that M is the more 'butch' one in our relationship. She is certainly athletic and if nothing else has never had the body frame that one would describe as feminine. I would say that the majority of individuals in her life never assumed that she would want, or would successfully carry a pregnancy to term.

Now pregnancy is a uniquely, intensely feminine process. M has never has large bre@sts, and now with pregnancy has gone through puberty to the point that she has had to purchase her 1st bra. I had to laugh at her udder discomfort with this fact, seriously many a nights of her lamenting "they are touching things! how do you deal with this" she says to her partner who is easily a DD.

While I loved M's body previously I find myself fascinated with this new aspect of her physical being. How strangely feminine it is, and how surprising it is to me - that even after all this time there are new discoveries to be made. The new curves, growing space and sensitivities. For someone who never thought she would be going down this road - it really has suited her well. But while any partner must sit back at times and marvel at the amazing changes that take place, I find this one uniquely profound. For someone that lived in the female body before but never would have been described as feminine. It has been a challenge to love this new phase, and the new physical form that my long time love currently has.