Birth story

Warning: this is LONG...I have been working on it for a few weeks now, and just wanted to get it up and out before I spend any more time trying to edit it...it's not perfect but it's for all of you to enjoy.

I have been trying to get M to write down her story now for what...oh six weeks... :) I can feel so many of the smaller memories slipping away, I wanted to detail our story at least my portion of the story now before it gets any hazier.

Saturday June 25th was a beautiful day here in town. One of the quintessential beach days. Unfortunately I had to work, it was the last day of a user group at one of my facilities and I wanted to head up to support some new staff in making sure all ran smoothly. I was nervous about going as this would take me out of cell phone range, but M and I had a plan to check in and she was going to be taking the kids to a preschool friends birthday party. So off we all went.

Watching the music performance I all of a sudden had a thought that I should head home, things were under control, I checked in with my staff and started the trek down the mountain. I had brought a list with me of a few other errands I wanted/needed to run and I wanted to make sure I got those done and got home in time to give M a break.

(1pm) Needless to say when I pulled into town I received a slightly anxious call from M stating that her water had just broke.
At the preschool party.
In front of all the parents.
She had to ask the host for a towel, and not one she wanted back. I guess all the other moms sprung into action and helped corral the duo, get the in the car so M could head home and try and get them down for a nap. I was so thankful that I ended up in cell range to receive the call!

I immediately sprung into action and started making calls. Called friends to come take care of the duo, our acupuncturist to help try and get contractions kicked off. M had tested positive for Group B a few weeks back and she was anxious about having to spend any additional time at the hospital that wasn't needed.

By the time I made it home we had just a few minutes to spare before heading over to our acupuncturist. (3pm) The plan was to go through the appointment, go for a walk, and then decide when we would head to the hospital.

Side Story: We went through the same Doctor's office for this pregnancy as we had for mine. First time around we had become friends with my Dr. we'll call her Dr. D. Because of that friendship M didn't want her to be 'her' doctor...didn't want her down in her nether regions. But of course, our doctor is now out of town at a wedding in Canada, and who is on call...Dr. D. Had to chuckle at the irony of it all. M made her promise after giving birth that she would immediately forget everything that she just saw. :-)

6pm - We head off to the hospital. After packing the last things, getting our dear friend over to care for the duo and M is starting to have some smaller contractions we decide it is time to get out so we can get the antibiotics started.

We arrive at the hospital and M is thrilled to find that World Cup games have just begun! What better way to spend your time in the hospital, and first weeks other than watching soccer. Lots and lots of soccer.

We spend the next few hours getting checked in, starting M's antibiotics and walking around the L&D ward trying to get things started. Finally around 10pm we talk with Dr.D and decide to do a dose of cervadil to really get M's cervix ready, and M agrees to a sleeping pill as we all assume that tomorrow will be the big day. Our doula heads home and we get ready for the evening.

Around midnight we try and get some sleep- but as I lay there I just listed to M's breathing quicken and become more focused and labored every few minutes. I get up and some an sit with M through these initial contractions. Things started off rather slowly, but really intensified quickly. By 2am things were rocking and rolling and M's contractions were coming consistently at this point. I put on our playlist and spent the next 6 hours listening to the ocean waves, M's focus on breath and riding the waves of contractions.

M had really thought that she would want to be mobile during birth, not tied to the bed. With the sleeping pill on board, M really was out of it during each contraction break. She would instantly drift off and begin snoring - cute, but kind of humorous at the same time.

Around 3am I called the doula to update her and let her know what was going on. M was hoping for a natural birth and was doing great managing the contractions to this point. I was getting frustrated trying to manage the nurses who kept coming in and talking to M - saying things like "those contractions are really painful" or "it's because you are in so much pain" I was doing my best to continue our affirmations that moving through each contraction would bring us closer to our baby and that each moment was opening her for that moment. Our doula came back in to help me at that point...

The next few hours are a blur, there was puking and moaning and trips to the toilet - around 5:30 M was checked and was somewhere around 6-7 centimeters. Let it be known that I am not a night time person. I needed a moment to close my eyes...M was managing her contractions and seriously sleeping inbetween each one. For the next hour we all sat in quiet - our doula with M and me behind her eyes closed taking a moment of quiet. Finally around 7am M was checked again and was just about fully dilated! We were all in shock as none of us realized that M was going through transition in those moments - looking back I guess I should have guessed based on the energy going inward, and not expressing it outwardly as you are typically told to expect.

Everything in the room shifted gears to get ready for M to start pushing. She had a small lip of cervix that was holding on but with some support and various positions it melted away and it was time to start pushing.

M is an athlete. It had always been assumed that pushing would be something that she would excel at - and she did. Pushing for just under an hour M was able to safely deliver our little lady safely into this world at 8:08 am. In the final moments I had been allowed to 'deliver' my baby- to be the first to lay hands on her and assist her delivery into the world. It was an amazing experience, not one I will soon forget, feeling her warm, wet slippery body helping to pull her from M's body and place her on her chest. Priceless.

Upon arrival Little Miss had some initial difficulty transitioning into this world. Her breathing was raspy, quick and they wanted to take her into the NICU for a brief observation. While this was my worst nightmare on many levels, something I wanted to avoid at all costs - it was appropriate on many levels as I was now in the position of having to shuttle my newborn into the NICU.

Luckily, with a little additional suction we were able to get her sprung from the NICU rather quickly - within an hour we were all together again as a family. Little Miss nursed for the first time, latched like a champ and hasn't let go since. :-)

The next two days were a bit of a haze, feeling gratitude for this new little life for my amazing wife and how phenomenally she did during the delivery. I was/am in awe of her. It's hard to believe that this all happened almost 2 months ago- the days have been a blur - but I wanted to make sure to write down my memories, my experience of the arrival of our new little lady and how she has impacted our lives and our hearts from the moment she entered our world.

Slow your Mind

something that has been heard around our house quite a bit these days is 'slow down your body'. With three year-olds there is so much movement, so much activity and so little awareness of their bodies. It's adorable when you are watching them learn a new skill, not so great when they are around your new newborn.

Our duo is loving having a little sister, they will lay on the floor with her, sing songs and repeat many of the silly things we say to her on a daily basis. It's amazing to watch them love on her, and integrate her into our family.

For me - being the one who is working out of the house right now - it's been a little tough to get in sync with the family and with the baby. Not only am I having to juggle the focus of home life, baby time and work....work has been more than hectic and chaotic as of late. Not. Fun. At. All. I had hoped to be able to take some time off once the little lady arrived, and with the current situation I wasn't really able to take much time off at all.

Currently my days made up of getting up with our duo in the morning so M can get a few more hours of sleep. I get them fed, dressed and ready for the day before I head off to work. While I typically only work until 3 of 4, I then rush home to help with dinner, baby jiggling and any number of other tasks that need to happen to keep the household up and running. In the evenings once the kids are in bed (which seems to be getting later, and later, - note must do something about that) I have a few precious moments to really sit down and soak in my new daughter.

This is where the challenge comes in...I can't seem to slow my mind down. The speed of a newborn is so unique, so special and so different than real life. So I sit. And I try to quite my mind of the countless other things that I feel like I 'should' be doing at that moment. I try and soak in the moment, savor these early days that will not be happening again. But it is HARD. I am a do-er. I feel satisfaction from completing things off my list. There is also a part of me that thinks the best thing I could be doing is getting those things done so M doesn't have to worry about them during the days when I am not around.

Still, I sit. I try and quiet my mind and remind myself that the house can be messy, the dishes might not be done but I had a moment to kiss my daughter's baby fingers and rock her in my arms.

I am going to keep trying. Some days I am more successful than others...but I am going to keep with the mantra: "Slow my mind"