gratitude

Yesterday I found out that a dear friend of mine had a miscarriage a few weeks back. Found out since I got a phone call from her husband saying they had to rush her to the ER (some tissue did not pass and had gotten infected) and could i come care for their three year-old.

Then today - another friend of ours who is currently pregnant ran off the the ER with some mid-pregnancy bleeding. M is currently and their house taking care of their duo.

Phew! Both of these have brought back all of my early-pregnancy feelings of being insecure and unsettled about this pregnancy with M. While I still have fear about the day-to-day logistics of managing and affording a third child, I am growing more and more excited about meeting this new little lady. Personally, it is going to be an fascinating exercise in nature vs. nurture - who will she be, what type of baby and how will T & R act as older siblings?

I know that I was lucky- I had always assumed that getting pregnant was going to be the hard part. Once getting pregnant, I never doubted my bodies ability to grow, develop and safely bring forth a new life. Watching my two dear friends deal with these very real fears- is humbling. Today, I am feeling gratitude that even with my insecurities - I believe we will have a healthy baby girl at the end of it all.

I can only sit here and hope that the same outcome is possible for my friends as well.