I am a bit of a control freak.
phew - there i said it.
while from the beginning of us talking about another pregnancy I was in awe that M was interested in being the 'bio-mom'. the one that got pregnant. I was i awe of this woman that was able to cross the lines of so many sterotypes. Really, she fits many of the traditional q.ueer labels:
truck: check
PE teacher: Check
Soccer player: check
I know these are just gross generalizations but if you met her - no one anticipates that she would be the one getting pregnant any time soon.
I am in awe of her ability and desire to challenge these sterotypes, both in society and those that she has created for herself. She crosses all boundaries and never ceases to amaze me.
For me, I've always seen myself getting pregnant. I loved my pregnancy. And all of our conversations revolved around me carrying any children we might have. Having to walk in these new shoes - of being the role of supporter rather than the alternative is going to be tough for me. I have been spending lots of time thinking about the uniqueness of role 'mom'. I know I will love this baby. I just wonder how it will be different (if at all) not having this little one come from me. I am going to have to brush up on my caretaking skills.
For all of you out there- how did you handle manage this?
My situation is different than yours in that I never wanted to carry our child, but between my wife and I, I am way more of a control freak than she is. Once our son was born, I was always more detail-oriented...tracking his meals and naps and changes, etc. Because of this, I always felt 100% involved, and even the fact that she was breastfeeding him didn't lessen that. It never seemed to matter that he didn't come from my body (speaking from 18 months later). Parents are parents and you can be as involved as you want- your baby will need you as will your wife.
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